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  • Writer's pictureAmber

Is your Relationship Healthy or Toxic?

According to psychologist and relationship expert, Dr. John Gottman, "A healthy relationship is built on a foundation of mutual respect, trust, and support. It involves open and honest communication, effective conflict resolution, and shared goals and values. Both partners feel safe, validated, and able to grow individually while nurturing the relationship."


Dr. Lillian Glass, relationship and communication expert defines a toxic relationship as "characterized by patterns of negative behavior, emotional manipulation, and a lack of respect or empathy. It may involve power struggles, control, and a consistent disregard for boundaries. In a toxic relationship, one or both partners feel emotionally drained, invalidated, and their well-being is compromised."



Here are some yes or no questions to determine if your relationship is healthy or toxic:


1. Do you and your partner communicate openly and honestly with each other?

2. Do you feel respected and valued by your partner?

3. Is there a balance of power and decision-making in the relationship?

4. Are your boundaries and personal space respected by your partner?

5. Are conflicts resolved through constructive discussions rather than constant arguments?

6. Do you feel supported and encouraged to pursue your personal goals and interests?

7. Are both partners willing to make compromises and work towards solutions?

8. Is there trust and fidelity in your relationship?

9. Does your partner show empathy and understanding towards your emotions?

10. Are you able to express your needs and feelings without fear of judgment or retaliation?


The more "yes" answers the healthier your relationship may be. The more "no" answers, suggest maybe it's a toxic relationship.

What do I do if I'm in a toxic relationship?

If you find yourself in a toxic relationship, it's essential to prioritize your well-being and take steps to address the situation. Here are some suggestions on what you can do:


1. Recognize the signs: Educate yourself about the signs of a toxic relationship. This awareness will help you understand and validate your experiences.


2. Assess your safety: If you are in immediate danger or experiencing any form of abuse, prioritize your safety. Reach out to local helplines or authorities for assistance.


3. Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your situation. They can provide emotional support, guidance, and help you gain perspective on the relationship.


4. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and communicate them to your partner. Be firm about what behaviors are unacceptable and let them know the consequences of crossing those boundaries.


5. Consider professional help: Couples therapy or individual counseling can be beneficial in addressing toxic relationship dynamics. A therapist can help facilitate communication, explore underlying issues, and guide you through the process of healing and decision-making.


6. Prioritize self-care: Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities that bring you joy, practice self-compassion, and focus on your personal growth and well-being.


7. Consider ending the relationship: If efforts to improve the relationship prove unsuccessful and the toxicity persists, it may be necessary to consider ending the relationship. This decision should be made with careful consideration and support.


Remember, you deserve to be in a healthy and nurturing relationship. Taking steps towards addressing a toxic relationship can be challenging, but prioritizing your own well-being is crucial for your happiness and fulfillment.

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