Social media keeps me young. In the ever-evolving landscape of social media and popular culture, new terms and phrases emerge, and this one captured my attention. "Rehab girlfriend," this intriguing phrase has sparked curiosity and raised questions about its meaning and implications. Let me share what I've found.
Defining the "Rehab Girlfriend":
ORIGINALLY the term "rehab girlfriend" refers to a romantic partner who supports and stands by their significant other during their journey through addiction recovery. The word "rehab" is an abbreviation for rehabilitation, indicating the process of overcoming substance abuse or other addictive behaviors. The role this rehab girlfriend involves offering emotional support, understanding, and encouragement to their partner as they navigate this challenging path to recovery.
The term "rehab girlfriend" has expanded. A little exclusive for it to be coined "rehab girlfriend" when this applies to males too but it's women who tend to experience this particular kind of relationship. It's a relationship where women invest their time and energy into teaching their partner everything they know about navigating adulthood, domestic responsibilites and healthy relationships. Whether it’s being responsible for improving their partner’s emotional intelligence and communication style or teaching them how to complete domestic tasks.
I made myself smaller so that he could grow
I have definitely been in this kind of relationship and it's a hell of a lot of energy and for me little gain. I'm all about teaching someone how I need to be loved and working together to enhance each other but this is not that, it's exhausting and one sided.
“Teaching happens in all relationships,” says Joanna Harrison, couple therapist and author of Five Arguments All Couples (Need To) Have. “But problems arise when this feels imbalanced, and it tends to be, in straight relationships, the woman who is often doing the domestic or emotional teaching. This feeling of one-sidedness is where tensions can arise because it’s likely that one person will feel resentful.”
It can also lead to resentment from both people. This is what happened in my case. I became resentful because it felt like I was giving more than I was getting, it felt like I had to be in charge, make decisions, plan dates, ask for love, for support, for conversation. I had to be patient and unheard because he couldn't regulate or identify his emotions, not allowed to state my feelings because it made him "angry." It was unbalanced. And for him, he felt like I was condescending, like he was always the problem, like my questions to understand was me pushing him. I became the enemy.
This mutual resentment went to a toxic, unhealthy place and led to neither of us wanting to grow together.
Conclusion
Our partner plays a significant role in our life experience. Being a rehab girlfriend can be both rewarding and challenging. On one hand, witnessing a loved one's growth and transformation can create a deep sense of fulfillment, a deep sense of mutual respect and connection. Or it can go how my experience went and it can break each person down.
Comentarios